I mentioned changes in our household in an earlier post. I’m still not ready to name the change, for fear the change won’t happen.
Whenever change happens though, my self-care becomes all the more important. I’ve just spent an hour journaling.
I am reclaiming my power, bit by bit.
I can’t even begin to describe the power of journaling. I started my first journal in fourth grade. Journaling by hand, as opposed to blogging, has really saved my life on more than one occasion. I rarely look back at my journals anymore, but I have most of them anyway. Just the act of writing down my thoughts and feelings and not having to sugar-coat my words helps calm my brain in a way that nothing else seems to do.
I journal in a stream-of-consciousness sort of fashion. I never start writing with an agenda; I just start writing about whatever is on my mind in the moment. I never end up where I think I am going, either, in my writing journey. Today, for example, I started journaling about the upcoming changes to our household, and I ended up identifying one of the reasons I feel powerless over much of my life, which is a false thought.
Epiphanies like that happen all the time when I take the time to journal. I feel more centered and better equipped to handle life when I write things down.
I highly recommend getting a journal if you don’t have one, and using that journal often. I am saying that to myself, mainly, because I know I need to journal more than I do in this phase of my life.
Oliver is growing so much every day now. And he loves to laugh.
He says “I too, Mommy,” when I say, “I love you, Oliver.”
He loves his brothers. His brothers are his best friends. I hope it remains so his whole life long.
This precious boy turned our family life upside down when he arrived and I will be forever grateful for that fact.
Change is in the wind in our household.
This change is scary, but it is also exciting. I feel ready for this change.
There is a sense of rhythm settling in around here, when it comes to household and care of the family, that I haven’t sensed in a long, long time. It feels wonderful.
Don’t get me wrong; it’s lots of work. I’m learning to do the hard stuff at the beginning of the day, with lots less procrastination. This pattern makes room, though, for more time with Oliver during the day and the big boys in the evenings, and more genuine enjoyment of life in general.
In other news…
I crocheted a shrug over the past two weeks, finishing it up yesterday. The pattern and a tutorial can be found at these two posts: Granny Cocoon Shrug by Maria Valles and Granny Square Cardigan by Nadia Fuad. Mine is not identical to theirs because I ran out of my primary color of yarn and was too cheap to run to the store to get more just to do the final round of the square in plain double crochet. So, the seam holding the giant granny square together at the arms looks different than either of theirs does, as well as the collar and trim. I am okay with that look though, and it fits me well enough, with the arms coming just below the elbow, which makes it a perfect spring/summer shrug. I finished it off with a pin that, once upon a time, belonged to my dad’s mom.
This is my very first finished large crochet project and I am quite happy with it:I want to do another shrug just like it this summer in a darker color, for this fall.
That’s all for today.
I’m a little late posting this, but this was the favorite Easter photo from this year.